@!ex$$w0r!d™ ©

It is a shame when success in life is all about being at the right places at the right times and meeting the right people. More of a shame when you yourself is the beneficiary. Life has been far too kind. Disappointments have turned out to be opportunities and set backs - stepping stones.

Still, what does future behold? Wish life was simpler.

"Birthdays are unpleasant reminders of advancing age" – goes a snippet from Nehru's autobiography. Not quite unpleasant for a blog, isn't it? Definitely not & the same goes for its author.

It's been quite an experience –writing some crap which comes to my mind & getting totally unknown people to comment on it, or rather expecting people to comment on it. I started off exactly a year back hoping to reflect on 52 posts (that's once a week) & 52000 comments a year later. I fell 18 short of the former & about the latter – Mathematics never lies.

It's been that insatiable desire for comments, to know what others think about you & your thoughts that made me start blogging. And BOY!! How reluctant is she to embrace you, or even caress you. I still remember the 1^st comment on this blog. It was none other than me myself commenting "cool mate...." as Anonymous. Orkut & the blogging communities were a relief. If it was only about the numbers in the comments column- it served the purpose.

Tom, Dick & Harry would comment – "Wonderful blog" while God always sent an angel to comment on how the blog sucks to put my feet back on the ground. Slowly the author realized nobody fucking cares for your personal life or your personal thoughts. You are not Paulho Coelho or Aamir Khan not even a Small B. Meanwhile made a handful (almost) of friends. Probably that's been the best thing about this. Matured a bit as well – the blog is no longer hungry for comments.

The blog which was given birth out of boredom has in itself become a source of boredom these days. What an irony! But still the birthday has to be celebrated. What better way than to start posting all over again.

It seems people are depressed all over the world. No reason why I should be an exception. The other day our CAT trainer was stressing on the importance of reading newspaper editorials every day to do well in the job interview. Hardly do I get time to read the newspaper editorials ,especially with TOI - whose editors manage to make a living out of all the masala stuff & the next day I opened the center page to read the editorial which read –"70,000 Indians have lost their jobs" .A good solid reason to start reading those???

The f*****g RECESSION has happened at the worst possible time it could ever manage to , in my life. The campus placements have been postponed. While singing hosanna's for Obama & propagating his Audacity of Hope I never did imagine the guy had some crazy ideas & could eventually become a pain in my ass. The stark reality that the NIT tag is not going to fetch an easy job , as I had dreamt of while preparing for AIEEE is hitting me hard.

Not as if I got my priorities all wrong . I haven't logged into orkut since early Jan , managed to keep mum to my good friend where I ve given a vent to most of my feelings , that's this blog . I consciously avoid initiating a conversation in the 'n' number of chat applications Im addicted to . Friends back home say "Alex doesn't care anymore" – its fine with me, I seriously don't care & Im self obsessed at the moment to be very honest.

But then I fail to understand how I manage to wake up at 12 pm to find that I ve missed my classes & more importantly attendance & on the other side waking up at 3 in the morning to watch a certain Jesse Ryder & Brendon McCullum smack the Indian bowlers all over Napier . Again here I am sitting in front of my laptop at 3 am hoping that Tendulkar would complete his 43^rd test century to make this sleepless night worthy .Yeah I know , some of my priorities are still out of place.

These are tough & uncertain times for easy going , happy go lucky guys like me. I go back & listen to the inspiring speeches collection in my laptop. There is absolutely no doubt on which of those 20 odd speeches I should turn to – Ironically its again Obama's Audacity of Hope.

"Hope -- Hope in the face of difficulty. Hope in the face of uncertainty. The audacity of hope!

In the end, that is God's greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation. A belief in things not seen. A belief that there are better days ahead."

All of us crave for those turning points in our lives. Don't we? But there were a couple of occasions recently where I would have done better without those turning points.

Last Christmas I was back home for my holidays in Kochi. For all its developments in the last decade it unfortunately doesn't offer you any unique hangout places. So one day I was on my way to one of those common hangouts in a private bus. For all those who are unaware there is a govt. order where some 25% seats in a bus have to be reserved for women. Therefore men are often confused about who is the so called 'weaker sex'. But the amount of crimes against women in the state is such that once on my journey in a train a 5-6 something old adorable girl was seated opposite to me. Yours truly affectionately smiled at her & guess what; she started pulling her knee length skirt further down! Here in Jaipur there are no seats reserved for women in buses & a 20 something girl in a mini skirt would probably put one leg on the other if nobody is paying her any attention. The numbers of crimes against women are identical though. So whether these rules are the seeds for crimes or vice versa would be debated like the 'Who came first-Hen or Egg' debate.

Coming back to my journey in the bus, I was forced into the ladies area thanks to the evening crowd. There was this dude standing next to me who was hell bent on showing his culture to the 'aunties'. After a bit of poking & probing one of the ladies politely let him know what she thought about it. The dude slowly left the area (experienced-I later found out).I was suddenly in his place & god damn traffic in the city, the driver put the sudden brake & I was on the same old aunty purely according to Newton's 1^st Law of Motion & by no means any Laws of attraction. Probably thinking that this was the other guy she shouted "BEHAVE YOURSELF" & enquired about my Mom and sister. Unless one find themselves in such a situation it's difficult to comprehend how it feels when everybody turns around to give you "What a pervert" look.

Though we play like shit in tournaments, we religiously practice football every evening. Then there are the girls who pay an honourable visit to the ground 2 days before any tournament. The fact that they still perform exceedingly well is something I plan to do my PhD on. Anyway, presence of the fairer sex on the field is a huge source of inspiration to the boys. Suddenly the drooping shoulders broaden & the lazy become enviable. Our coach plays his part as well by loudly congratulating the guys who do well & the lucky guy would turn around to see if the girls are noticing him. Naturally the case applies to me as well & suddenly started playing to impress 'somebody', meanwhile forgetting the basics. Our coach was admirably alert though & shouted -"Alex…..You STUPID Fellow".

I dint have to turn around though, I could very well hear the giggles.

I was tagged by Mads.I found it to be pretty useful a questionnaire in this virtual world.More so tags are a blessing in disguise when you actually dont have anything to post but wanna update it.


1.What does your user name mean?

My username is alex23secret – alex is my name , 23 is my favourite number & secret was my password when I created this account some 5 years back.

2. Elaborate on your user photo.

Taken during the farewell party we gave to our seniors at Pink Pearl Resort , Jaipur.Here I’m taking a break from the Discotheque(my poor stamina did me in).

3. How many comments do you have?

It depends on how many comments I want.When I started blogging I had a serious liking for comments & would go all out to gather as many comments I possibly could mainly through orkut.But the craze has slowly but surely mellowed down probably due to the large number of hypocrites around.

4. What's your current relationship status?

Single.

5. What exactly are you wearing right now?

My college tracksuit which is black in colour.

6. What is your current problem?

I ve probably wasted my past two n a half years of academic life in the college.So right now trying to get a hold of whatever I was supposedly taught back then because the year 2009 is very crucial as far as my career is concerned.

7. What do you love the most?

I love Sports & Dogs.

8. What makes you most happy?

When I live my dreams .

9. Are you musically inclined?

I don’t mind music.But I can survive without that for sure.

10. What would you do if you woke up one morning and found out you were on cocaine?

I would first switch off my mobile & sleep.Wish it‘s a chilling morning.

11. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?

Nothing absolutely nothing.Probably it sounds a cliche & yeah I ve had my hard times & forgettable moments but then that has helped me to acquaint of all the people in this world myself.

12. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day, what would you be?

Well, I remember my biology teacher explaining human beings are animals as well.So I already am one .

13. Ever had a near-death experience?

Yeah thrice & I ve explained it all in my post Agape.

14. Name an obvious quality you have

I m good listener & with God’s grace I ve a genuine feeling called ‘concern’.

15. What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?

Nothing at the moment.But my favourite songs are ‘Words’ – Boyzone & ‘Seasons In The Sun’ – Westlife.

16. Are you happy today?

Yeah, I just got a message that the lab which I bunked just now didn’t cost me an attendance .Pj’s apart im not exactly unhappy I don’t feel happy either.Im just OK right now.

17. Who will cut and paste this first?

No idea at all.Probably none.

18. Name someone with the same birthday as you

Edson Arantes do Nascimento or Pele.It doesn’t get bigger or better.

19. Do you have a secret crush on someone?

Yeah for sure.But all of them have boyfriends.

20. Do you have a garbage disposal in your kitchen sink?

Lol , I dint quite get it.

21. Have you ever been in a fight?

Obviously a lot during my boyhood days.But the latest was almost an year back & again I ve explained it in one of my previous posts & how it got the better out of me.But I seriously don’t mind getting into fights because I just love the moment when one of us apologize.

22. Have you ever sung in front of a large audience?

Thrice.Twice ,while in UKG (veer tum bade chalo) & some song while in 1st std for the school annual day celebrations & once in 7th std for a group song competition where we actually bagged the first prize.I still believe I can get away in a group.

23. What's the first thing you notice about the OPPOSITE sex?

Face.Thank god just the first thing.

24. What's your biggest mistake?

Cant figure.Im not sure if it could turn out into my biggest mistake but swimming with the tide lately.

25. Say something totally random about you.

Im confused.

26. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?

Yeah.Our maid once told my Mom I look like SreeSanth –that’s when I was growing my hair.From then I ve had haircuts each fortnight much to my parent’s delight.

27. Are you comfortable with your height?

I woudn’t mind 8 cm’s more to touch that magic 183 mark but I dont see it coming.

28. What is the most romantic thing someone has ever done for you?

Forgiving me for my wrongs.

29. What are your favourite smells?

The smell of wet grass after a rain & yeah coffee smells great.

30. What's something that really annoys you?

When people act in real life & those who are never genuine in their feelings , in short hypocrites.

31. What's something you really like?

Honesty & Integrity.

32. Do you give random hugs and kisses?

Yeah random hugs for sure , not random kisses as of now.

33. What's the latest you have ever stayed up?

On a normal day I would probably stay up till max 3 am.On abnormal days I can stay up all night that’s during celebrations & exams.

34. Have you ever been rushed to the emergency room?

Never.

Mads used a cool way of tagging people.Im following the same here.All those who read/comment on this post are entitled to do it in their blog.It goes without mention that I dont mind at all if you ignore this.